Friday, February 1, 2008

Love or Arranged !!

I wonder if Adam and Eve had ever thought that they should go for love or arranged marriage.. as if they had a choice .. infact as if they got married !! . However in today’s cosmopolitan culture one is often grounded by the love and arranged marriage scenario.

I have come across so many people in love[wonder if that really exists] around me , ranging from those who go allgushy pushy in public to those who have those gr8 secretive love affairs ,from the time they are together to the time they break-up .. If we plot a graph of the relationship ...peak in the starting to disrupts in the middle and then crash at the end, would represents senSEX. Most of the time peak is characterized by infatuation , center is sustainable only due to memories of the past and anticipations in the future and the as the memories decrease and anticipation turns into disappointment relationship crashes. Recently there are so many articles in Times regarding how to keep your relationship alive /going etc ... Sometimes I wonder y do relationships need such a tonic and in that case is it Love or just plain adjustment . One of my friend who believes a lot in love said " There is no blind love in todays world .. ultimately you even start loving a dog when you spend a long time with him !!".. well I seriously think its very true in the real world . There have been so many cases that a pair madly in love[right now this word is getting more and more controversial!] with each other separated due to some reason discovers love in some other person and the relationship dies!. So many cases where one of them likes other but other doesn't have that feeling however after spending a good amount of time with the same person ..both fall in love with each other [reminds me of the dog]!! . So many cases [in fact all] where 2 people are in love with each others however they also have feelings for some other XYZ but just that they don't think that they would be able to make it to them .. settle for someone else and still call it love !. Few cases when both of them cannot decide whether they are in love or not and decide that if until XYZ age they don’t discover anyone better they ll get married !!

The other side , I have a friend who recently got engaged the arranged way . She once said "My family has decided a filter that only those guys whose current salary is more than 7-8Lac are screened !!" . I wonder if she would have had such liberties if she would have fallen in love with any of her colleague earning same as her !!. I personally don't feel she or family was wrong in any way by looking for a person who is economically very balanced , all they did was they set a benchmark for them based on the girls qualities/qualifications etc . Well we have already seen that there is no blind love, then what’s wrong in keeping the eyes completely open ! And the surprising fact was after they got engaged they got along so well like a pair in love .. having late night calls ,pet names , streams of SMS chatting!! . Same thing happened with one of my relative who got engaged the arranged way and was sharing few of their personal conversation with me. It appeared as if they were in Love !! ..

Apparently it appeared to me that whether you discover someone by infatuations or in an arranged way you reach the same state of controversial love .. which eventually turns into a duty, responsibility , a relationship for which you need tonic to keep it going in form of best practices that are printed in the Times .

Ultimately if Love that we are talking about is all about being able to spend the rest of time together than arranged marriage seems to be a safe bet where you get to choose and decide exactly what do you want from your partner as against those cases where you select someone because you start liking him/her just because you spent a good time with each other in times of loneliness. At the same time its very dangerous and difficult to know the person properly in very short time as in case of arranged marriages !!


My verdict : Adam and Eve were Lucky !!

7 comments:

Snigdha Shevade said...

My god boobie!!!! You actually have a lot to write and creat controversies!!! :-D Am happy that you know what is happening around sooo well that you can actually write so detailed verion of it!!! :-) Keep it up!!! :-)

P1 said...

P.S. : I don't create controversies :P...

they all exists.. read the title of the blog ..:).. and thnx for those comments and discount given 2 me :)

Snigdha Shevade said...

Discount of what??? ;-)

nikhil said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
nikhil said...

We have pros n cons of every single thing (which, i shud say, is the basis of any debate)... I thnk this cover all parts of it very well...

I would say... a person starts considering a topic to be controversial wen he/she starts accepting/agreeing on both sides of the debate :)

P1 said...

i agree.. but there is one more thing to it .. he also start disagreeing to both side of it :) .. and thats what makes it controversial .. any comments related to the topic guys ?

Dagny said...

ummm... i dont think i am the the best mood / position to comment on this topic
:)
maybe i can give a verdict on this some other day
But... you have a pretty neat style of writin